How I Started My Natural Hair Journey

How I became comfortable with my natural texture

Some of my earliest memories are of getting my hair done and loathing it. Dealing with it has always been challenging, especially at a young age. When my mother didn’t have the patience to deal with my tender head, she would take me to the salon so that some other poor soul could handle the tantrums that came with detangling it, much to my mother’s embarrassment. A regular occurrence, I grew to associate the salon with both discomforts.

Black Hair Can Be Challenging

Hair, especially ours, can be challenging, but it reflects our heritage, roots, and identity; it took me a while to understand and learn to love it. My kinky hair was such a nightmare from the age of five to thirteen that all I could do was resent the person who cursed me with such a disagreeable hair type.

But as I grew older, I started appreciating the uniqueness of my natural texture, and now, I embrace it.

My Journey to Accepting My Natural Hair

My journey to self-acceptance, which might inspire you to embark on your own, was challenging. It took me a while to truly accept and love my curly hair.

I didn’t believe my hair was my own from ages five to ten. Of course, it was growing from my scalp, but it felt like a stranger or parasite. The way I looked wasn’t up to me. My mom had the last say in my chosen style because it was originally hers before it became mine.

As I grew up, I had more freedom to pick my hairstyle. In elementary school, I often chose braided styles with colored beads.

The Pain of Getting Braids

The first night after getting braids is always the worst because of how tender my head feels. I could never find a comfortable way to wear beads without them bothering my head. Eventually, I would fall asleep, hoping to receive compliments the next day after going a week without having a proper style.

What is a proper style?

I didn’t know much about appropriate black hairstyles when I was little, but it meant anything that wasn’t natural. When I was younger, my mom was displeased with doing my hair, and I remember arguing about why I couldn’t just wear my hair in its natural state. I don’t know the exact answers she would give me, but it probably had to do with her not wanting me to run around looking like a “ragamuffin.”

People saw wearing natural hair as unkempt.  Whenever I would go into a crying fit over having my hair detangled, I was met with the threat of having my hair cut off, which caused me to cry even harder because I thought that I would get made fun of for looking like a boy. This made me cry even more because I was worried about being teased for looking like a boy.

Now I think back to those moments and wish I had gotten my hair cut sooner.

Middle School Hair Insecurities

I decided I wanted a haircut in seventh grade because I didn’t know how to attend to it when it wasn’t braided. When my hair wasn’t braided, it was constantly blow-dried and straight, which we later discovered caused heat damage. So, I had an odd curl pattern whenever my hair was rarely in its natural state.

At this point, when many insecurities were being made, I discovered my hair was on top of the list of things I was insecure about, especially when I saw how easily other girls in my grade took care of their hair. I didn’t what hair products to use and how to use them.

History Repeating Itself

My mother never taught me how to do my hair because her mother never taught her. When she was younger, my mother had relaxed hair cut against her will, which is why she refused to let me cut my hair. I remember being so confused the first time she said no.

All those threats over the years had been empty. I was upset because I thought having less hair would make it easier to take care of. I also thought it would help eliminate most of the parasites.

Finally, Relief

It wasn’t until my mom saw a movie ( I can’t remember the name) that she finally agreed to let me get my haircut. Her reasoning for letting me get my haircut was that she didn’t want me to feel like she felt when it came to her relationship with her mother and haircare. That is where the journey of me genuinely learning to love my hair and learning how to take proper care of it began, and the journey to my hair becoming my own started.

Stay tuned for my journey. Please follow me here to get notified when I post my next blog.

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